Dear Hermione, That Which Went Unsaid
by FamousNoOne
Summary: A series of letters that were written to Hermione but never sent. A story of Draco's seventh year at Hogwarts. Collaboration fic with Cheerfully Blue.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey, guys! I'm back, and this time I'm working on a story with a friend of mine, **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**. You can choose to either read just my (Draco's) side or just her (Hermione's) side, but to get the full effect I'd check out both of them. We should each be posting once a week, starting with tonight, and it will alternate between the characters. After this "prologue" of sorts, everything else will be written in letters…**

**Wow, that was really confusing. I'm sorry. Once you read it, it will make so much more sense! I promise!**

**Remember to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**'s side of the story!**

Dear Hermione, That Which Went Unsaid

Draco made his way to the predetermined spot by the Black Lake. He had sent her the letter the day before, hoping their burgeoning friendship would be motivation enough for her to meet him one last time.

Ah, there she was.

She stood by the birch tree, _their_ birch tree, hair blowing in the soft breeze. She was hugging herself, not because she was cold – how could she be, it was June – but because that was her defense mechanism. He'd come to understand it in the time that they had been… acquaintances? He wasn't quite sure how to define their relationship, but they had met enough that he knew her mannerisms and what they meant. For example, she was thinking hard, shown by the way her face was scrunched up as she looked out at the water. Her eyebrows were pulled down; that meant she was angry. She was biting her lip; that meant she was confused.

Draco sighed as he closed the last ten metres between them.

"Hello, Hermione," he said. She whirled around, wand pointed at him. Draco didn't react; he knew this would happen. After all he had done, he was honestly surprised she hadn't hexed him yet.

"Draco," she said, contempt dripping from her tongue. He would have been scared had it not been for the fact that there was no hate in her eyes, only confusion and uncertainty.

"I want to explain," Draco said, hoping she would drop her wand. It didn't even waver.

"Explain what? Explain why you let Death Eaters into the castle? Explain why you betrayed my trust? Explain why you killed Dumbledore?" Draco barely managed to not roll his eyes. He knew the situation was much more serious than that, and that she couldn't have been aware that he didn't kill Dumbledore, but he was so sick of everyone thinking he was evil. She was supposed to be different.

Then again, he did do all those things… Well, except the one…

"Why did you do it? Just tell me that." Draco sighed. He didn't know how to explain it. Everything about this was so messed up and he couldn't find the words. He looked down at his feet, not wanting her to see the raw emotion on his face. If he looked her in the eye… Everything would collapse.

"Tell me, Malfoy," she said. Oh, that hurt. He had gone from Draco to Malfoy… Nothing was going right for him, and he was quickly losing control of his emotions.

"I just… I can't… I don't know how to explain it," he answered. Hermione froze; now he could see the hate in her eyes. He glanced at her wand, then back at her, preparing himself for one of her curses. It made him angry that she wasn't giving him the opportunity to think of what to say.

"Are you saying Mudbloods can't understand the actions of such a prestigious wizard as yourself?" she spat. He flinched at the words. How could she think that low of him?

_Remember what you did, Draco,_ he reminded himself.

His anger was building. She didn't trust him anymore, that much was clear, but now she was bringing up _blood status_? They'd had countless conversations about how much his ideals had changed, and how he didn't care about purity of blood, only purity of heart.

"No, Hermione, that's not what I—"

"Then what are you trying to say?" she yelled, taking a step closer to him.

He snapped.

"I DON'T KNOW!" he bellowed, throwing up his arms. Hermione flinched, staring up at him. Then he felt her fist impact with his jaw and he fell to his knees.

He sat there, holding his throbbing face and breathing heavily, while he fought to gain control of his emotions. He knew why she was acting this way; she didn't know his side of the story.

Then again, she wasn't exactly giving him an opportunity to explain.

He slowly got to his feet and looked up at her, determination on his face. She'd had her words; it was his turn.

"I'm sorry I yelled, but you weren't exactly letting me speak," he said. Her eyes softened. Good, she knew she was in the wrong.

"I'm sorry I… punched you…" she said, her lips pulled up into a tiny smile that didn't give an impression of remorse.

Draco chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "You don't sound very sorry, but I suppose I deserved it."

"Yeah, you really did." There's a silence, and then Hermione laughs. It's such a happy noise that Draco can't help but join in for a moment, before remembering why he's here.

"I really want to explain myself…" he hesitated, hoping this wouldn't set her off.

"Alright, go ahead." She waved her arm, gesturing for him to continue.

He paused. "I don't want you to punch me again." Hermione laughed again, and Draco joined her, feeling the anger and tension dissipate around them.

Hermione smiled. "I promise not to punch you again… Unless you make me," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well then, I will watch my words… But I'm not quite sure where to begin." He said, scratching the back of his head.

"Then why don't you try the beginning, Draco?" He smiled slightly at this. She was back to calling him Draco; this was good.

"Understand this, Hermione," he sighed. "I love my family very much. You know that. Surely you can understand why I made the choices that I did," he said looking down at his hands. He studiously picked at his nails.

"I know you said that he was threatening your family and forcing you… I don't know what I thought he was forcing you to do, but I never thought it was this." He looked up at her pleadingly. The frown on her face looked so out of place and he regretted that it was his fault it was there. But he had to make her understand.

"How would you feel if you were faced with killing your family or your morals, Hermione? That's not a choice most seventeen-year-olds want to make, myself included." Draco couldn't move but her with his eyes to understand.

"I can't…"

Draco threw up his arms. "I don't expect you to accept it and move on, Hermione. I just need to you understand that I had no choice. _He_ would have killed my parents. And me. You can't deny that you wouldn't have done the same thing if you were in my place. I regret it, but my family is alive because of my sacrifices. "

"… But you betrayed me." He couldn't help the lump that appeared in his throat at this. She was right; he had betrayed her. But he had also saved hundreds of lives.

"I know, but you have to think about the bigger picture, Hermione. I kept _him_ happy. I kept _him_ from waltzing in and destroying the entire school," Draco said, gesturing at Hogwarts, the place in which he had felt safe for five glorious years. Until this year, when everything had gone downhill. When his whole life had been turned upside down.

"You may as well have destroyed it. You killed Dumbledore." Her voice broke at the end, and her eyes were full of so much sadness that Draco almost reached out to touch her. Almost. Then he remembered the situation and thought better of it.

"No, Hermione. He offered me help. I was going to take it, but the rest of the bloody Death Eaters arrived and then Snape took over and… Well, you know," he looked down again, feeling so ashamed. He had aided in the murder of the one person who could have helped him, and now he was alone… Again…

"Why are you telling me this, Draco? Why did you ask me to come here?"

"Because harder times are ahead, and it's only going to get worse. You… You're all I've got. Mother and Father are catering to _his_ every need and…" Draco looked up at Hermione. "I need you. You're the only friend I've got." Well, he supposed friend wasn't the right word, but there really was no word to describe their relationship. All he knew was that she was the only person he could somewhat trust, and he didn't want to go through this alone.

"But we're on two different sides, Draco. We can't be friends." He knew she was right, but he desperately wished she wasn't. There was a rough path in front of him and if he didn't have her, he didn't have anyone.

He couldn't help it, he began to pace. It was a nervous habit of his. Gesturing with his arms, he yelled, "Dammit, Hermione, I've got no one else but you. I can't do this alone!" The truth of that statement made his heart heavy. He gave her a pleading look.

"But sometimes we have to," she said, walking to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

What did she know about being alone? He pulled away from her. "What are you on about? You have Potter and Weasley! You don't know what it's like to be alone." Not the kind of alone he knew. Not the kind of alone where you knew no one would help you even if you screamed.

"Yes I do, Draco. I can't talk to Ron about everything, he's too thick to understand some things. And Harry has so much else to worry about…" He returned to his pacing as she shrugged. Maybe she did know some of what it was like to be him. He knew how it felt to have no one to talk to about your problems. He knew how it felt to have to keep everything inside.

"This is why I need you. And you need me," he said softly. He stopped pacing and begged her to understand that it was true. They may not have been friends, but they did need each other.

"But I'm not coming back next year, Draco. It will be too dangerous. We're on our own now."

"But we don't have to be," Draco pleaded, taking a step forward. He had an idea…

"What do you mean?" she asked, frowning.

"We can write letters to each other."

Hermione shook her head, but Draco was determined to make her see the logic. "It's too dangerous, Draco. They'll be looking for the three of us, I know it. If we write letters back and forth, I'll be giving away our location and I refuse to sacrifice Ron and Harry just to make you feel better. I won't do it."

"We won't actually _send_ them," Draco said, rolling his eyes. He understood how dangerous it would be. Merlin's balls, he was living with the most evil wizard of all time; he knew the dangers! "It will just be a cathartic way of purging our feelings when we're in over our heads. We can just address the letters to each other so that we won't feel alone, but we won't send them."

"What if someone finds them?"

Raising an eyebrow, Draco answered, "Simple concealment charm, works every time. Honestly, Granger." He smiled at her, knowing that she would appreciate his light teasing after what had happened earlier.

She rolled her eyes but gave him a small smile. "Alright, we can write letters… How did you get in here?" she suddenly said, shooting him a wary look.

"I, uh, I Apparated into Hogsmeade and then just sort of hoped…" he trailed off, shifting uncomfortably.

"Draco, someone could come out here and see us at any moment. You could have upset the wards. They'll send you to Azkaban, you need to leave!" Draco hesitated. He didn't want to go back. _He_ was there.

"Draco, you need to go!" she said, pushing him towards the gates.

"I suppose you're right. Don't forget about me, eh, Granger?" he said, sadly, giving her a look.

"Just be careful." Draco snorted. Neither one of them could promise the other that they would be careful, considering the tasks ahead.

"You, too." Draco turned and walked away, not glancing back because if he did, he would never leave. He knew he should get back to Malfoy manor as quickly as possible, but… Oh, he couldn't help it. Once he was out of gates, he turned around. She was already inside, but still he whispered to her, "I'll try."


	2. Burbage

**A/N: Hey, guys! This is the first letter from Draco to Hermione, and it's a little weird. Hope you enjoy it!**

**And no, we are not taking letter requests as we already have our letters finished, but thank you anyway.**

**Don't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue's**_** letters!**

Dear Hermione,

I hope wherever you are is better than where I am. _He_ is here again, and Mother is going crazy with fear. Of course, so am I, but my Legilimency and Occlumency are so strong _he_'d have to really try. Which of course makes him furious…

_He_ killed Professor Burbage. Right in front of me. I never had her, of course, since I never took Muggle Studies, but… She was a professor. She lived in that castle with me for the majority of the year and _he_ just let his snake…

Never mind. I'll spare you the details.

Not like you'll get this letter anyway. It feels so odd writing a letter to you, even knowing you won't get it. But I needed someone to talk to and you're the only person in this entire world who understands me… Oh, Merlin, I sound like a whiny teenage girl! … You would have laughed at that…

Where are you going that is so dangerous, anyway? I know you're not too scared because of your "parentage." You're too strong for that… I just hope Potter and Weasley can take care of themselves; you don't need to be worrying about them as well as yourself. These are mad times we live in…

I miss you. It won't be the same going back to Hogwarts without your nagging and know-it-all answers in class.

Be safe, Hermione. I wouldn't be able to stand it if anything happened to you or – as much as I hate it – those imbeciles you call friends…

Heh. You can't hex me for that, because you won't be getting this letter…

Much love,

Draco


	3. The DA

**A/N: Here's the second letter, guys! This one's a bit angry, but I hope you enjoy it!**

**Don't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue's**_** letters!**

Dear Hermione,

I'm at Hogwarts. It's hell. The Carrows, Snape, that bumbling half-wit Longbottom…

Okay, he's not that bad. But he and the She-Weasley need to stop with that damn organization. They're going to get themselves killed. Or worse, me.

Let me start over… They've revamped that Dumbledore's Army business that you, Potter, and Weasley began in fifth year. Only now, instead of learning spells, they're rebelling against the Carrows, and that is not something you want to do.

By the way, the Carrows made Pansy and me Head Boy and Girl, so guess who gets to dole out punishments to the entire bloody population of Hogwarts?

And I literally mean "whole bloody population." Some of the curses the Carrows use…

I just shuddered.

I miss you, Hermione. I know I say this in every single letter, but it's only because it's true. I miss you. I miss your laugh. I miss your know-it-all remarks. Hell, I even miss Potter and Weasley.

Speaking of Weasley, I hope it has finally hit him that he's got something special with you.

Oh, yes, I've begun a relationship with Astoria Greengrass. Don't tell anyone, but she's… Well, let's just say she won't be sending the DA any hexes soon. I really like her.

But you're still my best friend.

I miss you.

Much love,

Draco


	4. Bellatrix

**A/N: Here's the third letter! This one is pretty emotional, and it kind of made me sad to write. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Don't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**'s letters!**

Dear Hermione,

It took everything I had not to kill her. Actually, that's a lie – mother had to restrain me with the Body-Bind hex. I just… Watching her do that to you… Not being able to stop it… I never thought I'd say it, but I'm so glad Weasley intervened when he did. Otherwise… _He_ would have known where my allegiances are.

Don't let that awful word affect you. You're better than that, and blood is trivial. You're the best, most brilliant, most compassionate, most beautiful witch I've ever known. And I'm so glad you're my best friend.

Did I ever mention to you how happy I am that you punched me at the end of sixth year? After… What happened… With Dumbledore, I mean… If it weren't you, I'd still be on the wrong path… Of course, with this… lovely embellishment… on my arm, I am constantly reminded that I am not a good person. Oh, I'm laughing. Thinking of what you would say if you were here… "Oh, Draco, stop being such a prat! Of course you're a good person! You're one of the best people I know!"…

I miss you, Hermione. More than you know. I hope Weasley has finally realized how much he means to you. I hope Potter is utilizing your brilliance. I hope the three of you are successful, whatever it is you're off doing.

I wish you were here. I wish this war was over.

I wish I could send this letter.

Much love,

Draco


	5. Lucius and Narcissa

**A/N: WOW! CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS!**

**I PUT THE FIFTH LETTER BEFORE THE FOURTH LETTER!**

**UGH! I'M A FAILURE!**

**Okay, I fixed it. I apologize.**

**This is the fourth letter, people! This one gives a little more insight into how things are at home. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Don't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**'s letters!**

Dear Hermione,

It's a week after… After what happened with Bellatrix. I'm still at home for the "holidays". Oh, yes, Snape allows the pure-bloods extra holidays due to our "need for extra rest." I just overheard Mother telling Father she wants out of this "situation". This war is breaking a lot of people down, Hermione.

I honestly don't have a lot to say here. I'm so tired. Tired of this war. Tired of keeping up appearances. Tired of hating people I don't want to hate. Tired of liking people I don't want to like…

I miss you Hermione. I hope you're doing well on your quest.

I heard _him_ talking to Father about his suspicions. I hope that's what you're doing…

Be careful.

Much love,

Draco


	6. Crucio

**A/N: Fifth letter. This one was really hard to write because of the emotional toll it takes on Draco. I hope you enjoy it, anyway.**

**Don't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**'s letters!**

Dear Hermione,

I

Hermione, I

Crucio

That's all I had to say. The man stood in front of me, and all I had to say was "Crucio" and I could have gone free and continued with my day…

But I couldn't.

What does that mean? Am I turning into a bloody Gryffindor?

Oh, Merlin, I hope no one reads this.

I got Crucio'd, Hermione…

Because I wouldn't do it to the muggle-born they brought in.

And then… Because of the pain, Hermione, and for no other reason, I swear…

I Crucio'd him.

What is our world turning into, Hermione? I'm seventeen! I shouldn't have to do this and I'm scared that _he_'s going to make me do it again and I don't think I could handle that because I feel ruddy awful, even worse than when I… The Astronomy Tower…

Who am I, Hermione?

Much love,

Draco


	7. Loyalty

**A/N: Sixth letter. Draco's not doing so well, and, in return, neither am I. It hurts to make a character feel this bad, but… I hope you enjoy reading it, nonetheless.**

**Don't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**'s letters!**

Dear Hermione,

He's questioning my loyalty. He says he's going to take over Hogwarts soon to get Potter's attention.

Something in my face made him question me.

It could have been the look of concern for you, and Potter, and Weasley, and the She-Weasley, and Loony Luna, and Longbottom and…

I'm scared, Hermione.

For everyone at school. For you. For my parents.

I'm not scared for me, though. I've accepted that I probably won't make it out of this alive. And if I do, I expect some of your chocolate chip cookies. You know, the ones you make the muggle way…

He's coming back tomorrow night, Hermione. He could kill me or my parents at any time and it would be completely my fault and I don't know. Mother is terrified. She's not eating. She's so thin…

And Father… I've never seen him flinch so much…

I hope it ends soon, Hermione. I can't take this much longer.

Much love,

Draco


	8. The Final Battle

**A/N: Seventh letter. Writing this letter, I actually cried, because I know – just as we all do – how Draco felt after the Final Battle. I hope you enjoy reading this one.**

**Don't forget to check out ****_Cheerfully Blue_****'s letters!**

Dear Hermione,

All those people. All that death…

Including his.

I hate to say it, but… If all those people dying had to happen in order for_ him_ to finally die… I'm glad it happened…

But I will miss Fred. I know I made you think I never liked the Weasley twins, but, in reality, their jokes and pranks were some of the few things that made me laugh genuinely…

And Professor Lupin. He was such an amazing man…

And… And…

I can't do it anymore. I will miss too many of them.

I'm glad you're not actually receiving these letters. Otherwise you may think I'd gone soft…

I'm so glad _he_ is gone Hermione. I'm so glad I don't have to put up a pretense. I'm so glad my life can… Well, certainly not go back to normal… I'm glad I can start over. Clean slate.

I need to give Harry a nice, manly hug for everything he's done. For everyone.

Much love,

Draco


	9. Nineteen Years Later

**A/N: Eighth and final letter. This one is a bit less emotional, but I still cried while writing. Ah, well. The joys of being an author. I hope you enjoy reading it!**

**Don't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**'s letters!**

Dear Hermione,

Really? It's been nineteen years and you want those letters NOW?

Sigh… The things I do for love.

Speaking of, Weasley isn't as ugly as I remember. You've got yourself a good one.

Your children are very beautiful, also. So are Harry and Ginny's. I hope all our children get along, quite unlike the lot of us. How wonderful would that be? Astoria has already revealed to me her hopes that Rose and Scorpius… "click".

I'm not looking forward to you receiving these letters. I wasn't anticipating your actually reading them. They aren't much; they will undoubtedly seem like quickly scrawled notes compared to the bundle you've sent me, which is ridiculously thick. And, as promised, I will not open them until Wednesday, like we agreed.

All joking aside, I think sending these letters will be good for us. You were all I had during that time, and even then I was only writing to my memory of you. I know what you mean when you talk about how scared you were, and are, and you're right; we don't have to be scared anymore. We secured a clear, bright future for our children, and they will never have to know what it felt like to be us at seventeen. They'll go through their seven years at Hogwarts smiling, laughing, making friends, and they'll take their O.W.L.S and their N.E.W.T.S and they'll get in trouble sometimes, and they'll earn House Points, and they'll score a goal or two in Quidditch and it will be wonderful, and we'll see the smiles on their faces and know that those smiles can be there because of what we did, and the sacrifices we had to make, and the friends we lost. And there will be days when we're sad and want to curl up in a ball and cry, but we'll see those bright smiles on those shining faces and… And we'll remember why we went through what we did…

It was good to see you again, Hermione. I hope to get together sometime soon. Invite the Potters. I'd like to get to know them better, too.

Much love,

Draco

**A/N: It's been fun, guys. I'm sad that this is it, but I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Again, d****on't forget to check out **_**Cheerfully Blue**_**'s letters. Also, I don't normally ask, but if you could, leave us some reviews. We'd really enjoy hearing from you guys. Thanks for reading.**


	10. Sequel? I think so!

For those of you who wanted a sequel, I've written a story called **The Azaleas Are Ruine****d.**

It can stand alone, but I was inspired by **Dear Hermione**.

My co-author, Cheerfully Blue, was not involved in this.

I may post Hermione's POV if I have time/inspiration.

If you want to go check out the semi-sequel, it is posted.

Thanks, guys :)


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